Get OUT of My Space!

April 16th, 2008 Edward Mills Posted in Energetics, Law of Attraction, Personal Growth, Workshops, energetics of attraction, energy medicine, highly sensitive person, intuition, sensitivity, strategies, success No Comments »

Get OUT of My Space!

No, not you!

But, hopefully that got your attention.

Have you ever said that to someone? Have you ever wanted to say that to someone?

Most of us have probably felt that way once or twice in our lives… or maybe once or twice in the last hour!

We all have different personal space requirements. Some of us need a lot of alone time and like to maintain our physical and emotional distance. Others prefer being in social situations and being close to other people.

Our personal space requirements are also influenced by our cultural background. Different cultures have different personal space requirements.

Here’s what the website Edupass tells foreign students about our personal space requirements here in the U.S.

When two people are talking to each other, they tend to stand a specific distance apart. Each person has an invisible boundary around their body into which other people may not come. [Italics mine.] If someone pierces this boundary, they will feel uncomfortable and move away to increase the distance between them. (The major exception is family members and other loved ones.) This personal distance is not due to body odor or bad breath, but because closeness lends a sense of intimacy that is at odds with their relationship to the other individual.

Interestingly, the average personal distance varies from culture to culture. Americans tend to require more personal space than in other cultures. So if you try to get too close to an American during your conversation, he or she will feel that you are “in their face” and will try to back away. Try to be aware of this, so if the person to whom you are speaking backs away a little, don’t try to close the gap.

Also, try to avoid physical contact while you are speaking, since this may also lead to discomfort. Touching is a bit too intimate for casual acquaintances. So don’t put your arm around their shoulder, touch their face, or hold their hand. Shaking hands when you initially meet or part is acceptable, but this is only momentary.

Apparently we are getting a reputation for being a bit stand-offish here in the U.S.

So what is that “invisible boundary” they mention?

Well there is much more to your “space” than meets the eye. Your personal space is more than your body, more than your room or your office or your home. Your personal space includes your personal energy space as well, and it’s very possible for someone to be in your energy space even when they’re not around.

Have you ever felt that someone is “in your space” even when they are not anywhere near you?

I know there have been times when I have felt my parents in my space even though they are 2000 miles away!

I also know that I maintain a connection with my daughter even when she’s not around.

The connection itself is not a bad thing. In fact it can sometimes be a very good thing. There are times when having a non-physical connection with others is important and beneficial.

At other times, especially when the connection is made without awareness, it can feel stifling, controlling, overwhelming, or even suffocating.

And it’s at those times – when you feel controlled or suffocated – that it would be good to have some tools and techniques for disconnecting from others.

Now depending on how sensitive you are, having someone “in” your personal energy space can feel just as intense as having someone literally standing “in your face.”

There have been times in my life when those energetic connections have felt more intense!

Fortunately, I’ve learned some techniques to limit the intensity of those connections and create healthy energetic boundaries.

One of the most powerful tools I’ve learned is called Neutral Separations. It’s a deceptively simple technique that instantly reduces the impact of any dysfunctional energetic connections you have with other people.

If you’re interested in learning how to use this technique in your life, I’d love to have you join me for a free teleclass later today.

You’ll not only discover how to use Neutral Separations, you’ll also learn a simple tool for grounding your intentions into the physical world, as well as a technique to help you instantly shift your perspective.

The call is today (Wednesday April 16th) from 4:30 – 5:30 pm Pacific Time (7:30 – 8:30 Eastern).

You can register for the call at the Energetics of Attraction website.

And if you have any questions, leave a comment below.

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Photo credit: Stock Exchange / Simonok

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14 Success Strategies For Highly Sensitive People

March 26th, 2008 Edward Mills Posted in Energetics, Personal Growth, energetics of attraction, energy medicine, highly sensitive person, intuition, sensitivity, strategies, success No Comments »

success for highly sensitive peopleThis is the second article in a series on Highly Sensitive people. If you have ever wondered what it means to be a Highly Sensitive Person or if you qualify, read this article: 22 Signs That You Are A Highly Sensitive Person.

If you have already read that article, or, if you already know that you’re a Highly Sensitive Person, you may be wondering if there are any tools or strategies for living more comfortably and effectively in this sometime overwhelming and seemingly insensitive world. There certainly are.

Here are fourteen success strategies that can help you thrive as a sensitive person in this world.

But let’s start with these 14 Success Strategies for Highly Sensitive People!

1. Accept your sensitivity.
Your sensitivity is a gift. I know it doesn’t always feel like it. But it is. I spent more than half of my life denying that I was a highly sensitive. Until you acknowledge and say “yes” to your sensitivity you cannot begin to learn the tools that will help you leverage that sensitivity into a positive benefit.

2. Choose to empower your sensitivity rather than minimize it.
It has taken me many years to get to the place where I can truly claim my sensitivity and use it as a powerful tool on my journey of self-discovery and deliberate creation. As a Highly Sensitive Person in an often over stimulating world, dampening your sensitivity sometimes seems like the best solution. And while that may be helpful, and even necessary, at first, ultimately you want to empower your sensitivity and turn it into a powerful ally in the creation of a truly brilliant life.

3. Spend time with other sensitive people.
It is very easy to get caught up in the stress and overload of our frenetic, chaotic world. Sometimes it seems as if there is no one else as sensitive as you. And from that thought it’s a short slide down the slippery slope into feeling like you are crazy or weird or strange. So find some other folks who are highly sensitive and create a support group where you can go for encouragement and to remind each other that you are not alone and that you are not crazy. One important note on this: This group is not a complain and whine group! The point is not to compare notes on how horrible and insensitive the rest of the world is. You connect with other Highly Sensitive People in order to know that you are not alone and discuss ways to leverage your sensitivity to create positive changes in your lives!

4. Hang out with successful, not-so-sensitive people.
I know this seems like a contradiction of the last one. But I have seen it happen (in myself and others) where a sensitive person basically says “screw you” to the rest of the world and all of the less sensitive people and finds someplace to curl up in a little ball and hide. While this can certainly be a beneficial and sometimes necessary short-term strategy, it’s not an effective long-term solution. Those of us who are highly sensitive can learn a lot from people who are not sensitive. So find some not-so-sensitive people who are successful and begin hanging out with them. Observe them. Learn from them. Watch how they move through the world. Not so that you can dampen your sensitivity but so that you might learn how to bring your sensitivity into the world in a balanced manner.

yoga for highly sensitive people5. Start a regular practice of “mindful exercise.”
Exercise is important for everyone. But especially so for Highly Sensitive People. Moving your body helps to get any environmental, emotional and energetic toxins out of your system. While any type of exercise is beneficial, workouts that incorporate your mind, body and spirit can be especially helpful. Try things like Yoga, Tai Chi, Akido. and Pilates. Dancing and rock-climbing can also be great opportunities for the body, mind and spirit to move. The bottom line is to find a form of exercise that touches YOUR body, mind and spirit.

6. Find HSP role models, sensitive people who have leveraged their sensitivity to create a great life.
Do you know any Highly Sensitive People who have learned to not only survive in this world, but thrive in it? What lessons can learn from them? What life strategies can you emulate? If you can’t find role models in your own life, look in the wider world. What teachers, authors, artists, and entrepreneurs (yes there are successful AND highly sensitive entrepreneurs) can you find? Once you find them, again look for lessons and strategies that they are using to leverage their sensitivity into success.

7. Gently push yourself beyond the level of your sensitivity.
Your sensitivity is a gift and strength. But in order for this gift to be of any value to you and to the world, you must learn how to put it into use. That means you have to stretch yourself and bring your sensitivity with you into places and situations where it feels uncomfortable. Just as you build muscle mass through resistance, you increase your ability to bring your sensitivity into the world by practicing and exercising.

8. Know your limits.
Don’t push yourself so far that you blow a fuse! Become aware of the internal signals that let you know you are reaching maximum capacity. And when you notice them back off. You want to push yourself and strengthen your sensitivity, but not to the point where it causes you to blow a fuse!

Sensitive Person Massage9. Set up a consistent self-care routine.
As a sensitive person you need more self care than others. Don’t compare yourself to less sensitive people. Get clear on your needs and take steps to ensure that those needs are met. If you need a massage every week, get one. If you need to take a bath with sea salts every night, do it. Your sensitivity is of no use if you are not able to function in the world!

10. Connect with nature as often as possible.
If there is one consistent theme I have found among sensitive people it is the restorative capacity of nature. Even if you live in a city get outside every day. Connect with a tree. If you don’t want to look strange, pretend you’re leaning up against it waiting for some. But while you’re there, feel the restorative, grounding energy flowing through that tree.

11. Create safe, sanctuary spaces.
It is very important for sensitive people to have safe spaces to go to when the world hsp-sanctuarygets overwhelming. You need to know that no matter what is happening in the wider world, that you have a safe space, a sanctuary to which you can return and restore yourself. Ideally, your home is your sanctuary. If it’s not, start by taking a small space and turning it into a safe, private, sanctuary where you can go when you need quiet and solitude.

12. Limit your exposure to news.
In some ways, this one suggestion may be the easiest and most powerful success strategy for Highly Sensitive People. And yet, I find it amazing how often this suggestion triggers people. They feel that if they don’t read the newspaper they’ll be missing out on important information. My response is that if reading the newspaper makes you feel like crap what good does that information do for anyone. I would much rather see you feeling great and doing positive things in the world, than see you feeling depressed and hopeless because you’re reading too much news.

13. Explore energetic healing modalities.
My training at the Academy of Intuition Medicine has been the most powerful work in my quest to empower and balance my sensitive nature. Try acupuncture, homeopathy, reiki, energy medicine, flower essences and other forms of energetic healing. When you find one that works, schedule regular sessions.

14. Learn how to create positive energetic boundaries.
There are wonderful resources that can teach you to setup positive energetic boundaries. Start with my course, The Energetics of Attraction and explore Energy Medicine University (the distance learning wing of the Academy of Intuition Medicine). Read books by Caroline Myss, Donna Eden, and others. Once you venture into this world you will be amazed at how easily you are led to the information and teachers you need to get learn how to thrive in this world!

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person, I encourage you to begin using some of these strategies. Look through the list and pick one or two of these that resonate with you and begin integrating them into your daily life. You may be surprised at how quickly and dramatically your life can change when you actively employ success strategies specifically designed for Highly Sensitive People.

Please leave a comment below and let us know which of these strategies you already use and what other techniques you use as a sensitive person in this world.

And if you want more information, inspiration and techniques to help you thrive in this world as an empowered sensitive person, I encourage you to read my new report: The Energetics of Attraction: Understanding and Applying the Harmonics of Human Awareness and to Compose The Life You Desire.

The report is free and you can download it instantly by entering your name and email in the form below.

Photo Credits:
Rock Climber by Greatlettuce
Yoga by MikeSchinkel
Candles by Ldcross
Massage by The Naked Photographer.

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