Prosperity Attraction – you create your own reality

I find this article very inspiring and agree 100% with how the author distinguished the two kinds of love. I have been enslaved by “love” but it was also love that liberated me. I think many people have gone through the same experience. To those who are in love, and those who are broken-hearted, please [...]

Do you tend to hold grudges or do you forgive people who have hurt you, or whom you think have hurt you?

Forgiveness requires inner strength that not everyone possesses. Feelings often stand in the way of forgiveness, veiling judgment and common sense.

Often, people feel hurt, when no one even tried to hurt them, because they misinterpret people’s words and actions.

If you don’t forgive:
- Thoughts and feelings disturb your mind, preventing inner peace.
- You become unhappy.
- You become resentful.
- You become negative.

You can continue this list if you wish.

Forgiveness shows maturity, common sense, compassion and a noble character.

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Imaginations can get tense during the holidays. Expectations wrestle in our minds and lives. Holiday traditions are jammed into already busy days. Instant gratification turns into regret. Debts are accumulated. Or sometimes, the imagination just shuts down and we slog through the holidays doing what other people are expecting of us. What if this season, a spiritual expectation can improve our experience?

A spiritual expectation is different from a worldly expectation. Spiritual expectations equal a productive developing consciousness. Worldly expectations are analogous to a frenzied or idle consciousness that can’t get out of itself. For example, if we expect a holiday party to give us joy, joy has just been reduced to time/space, excluding joy from many areas of our life. And, where is joy for those who weren’t invited to the party? What happens to joy if we get sick and cannot attend the party? How reliable is joy when we go to the party and have fun, but return home to dirty dishes?

Spiritual expectations are linked to that which is greater. If we expect joy from the sheer fact we radiate joy, we can be joyful whether we are getting ready for a holiday party or not. Aligning our thoughts with the metaphysical fact that joy precedes us—joy is found for others, is found now, at a party, and when we come home to dirty dishes.

Along with joy, spiritual expectations do not depend on any human event, season, or tradition. Admittedly, the holidays can be a grand time however that grandness can extend throughout the year when emanating from unconditional hopes. It is intriguing to improve our holiday season experience and then continue to feel the holiday spirit year round. However, this requires breaking away from the familiar, from the common beliefs of what we have trained ourselves to think about the holidays.

From 21st Century Science and Health the first English revision of Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health, we read, “The human mind is educated into selfish and sensualistic thinking as it constantly repeats the same thoughts to its self. If we are always talking about the body or persistently anticipating bodily pleasures (or even nervously expecting pain), we are being skillfully trained in the unspiritual. This education is at the expense of spiritual development.” Likewise, if we constantly expect temporary enjoyment, or even stress, during the holidays, our spiritual development is neglected.

Many people review their holiday experiences and strive to eliminate worldly expectations by improving their habits and rituals. Less time and money are wasted. More forgiveness and philanthropy is expressed. And, their happiness and security become more stable. A confidence is built up—a confidence that love and joy is found within consciousness, not in a particular holiday or gift or food.

Expectations can be powerful. What we are hoping is generally where our head and heart are being directed. Instead of expecting the holidays to bring good-will, peace, and joy, realize and act on the fact that good-will, peace, and joy will bring a beautiful holiday experience all year round.

Resource Box:

Cheryl Petersen’s book 21st Century Science and Health is the first English revision and update of Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health written in 1875. This book discusses spirituality and healing as found in Scriptures. It is available online at http://www.HealingScienceToday.com

Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life?

Much has been written over the ages about the value of forgiveness. And yet so many people continue to resist the idea of forgiving their transgressors. Why is this?

I believe there are a couple of factors at play.

First, although people might want to forgive, they don’t want the culprit to “get off scot-free.”

Let’s examine this more closely. There are many misconceptions about forgiveness, so I would like to point out what forgiveness does NOT do. (We shall refer to the transgressor as X.)

~ Forgiveness does NOT condone the actions of your perpetrator X. ~

By forgiving X, you are not saying that what X did was okay. You’re just willing to quit stewing about it. Chances are, it wasn’t okay, but there’s not much you can do to change history. It happened, it’s over, get over it. Don’t let it ruin your peace of mind a moment longer.

~ Forgiveness does NOT diminish the severity of the transgression. ~

By forgiving X, you are not saying that the harm he caused you was of no consequence. Indeed, you may still be dealing with the negative results of his actions. But by being willing to forgive X, you are allowing yourself to quit wasting precious energy on anger and put it to good use building yourself up instead. You survived the transgression. Now it’s time for you to thrive.

~ Forgiveness does NOT absolve X of his guilt. ~

Even if you were willing to, you could not clear X’s conscience for him. He will have to appeal to a higher celestial court for absolution. That is between X and his conscience; it is not your affair.

So you see, forgiveness does not let the other guy off the hook. It lets YOU off the hook.

By refusing to forgive the other person, you are condemning yourself to being stuck. And this “being stuck” tends to infiltrate and poison every area of one’s life. It’s a bit like trying to drive your car with the brakes on.

Consider forgiveness as a gift you give to yourself.

Now let’s look at another nearly opposite reaction. Some people are quick to claim blanket forgiveness for everyone and everything, without even knowing what it is they are pardoning.

This is a fine gesture, but it is hardly effective. Why? Because you cannot forgive a transgression which has never been acknowledged.

You can’t just leapfrog over all the buried pain and expect relief. You must first acknowledge the harm that was done.

The acknowledgement consists of:

* Admitting the harmful nature of what was done to you.
* Feeling the pain that you’ve struggled unconsciously for years to keep down.
* Expressing the anger that accompanies these realizations (by writing, exercising, beating a pillow, wailing, thrashing about, etc.)
* Mourning your loss. (Sadness, unlike depression, is a healing force and it will pass.)
* Forgiving your transgressor.
* Experiencing a new vitality as you reclaim formerly disowned parts of your being.

Important: You don’t need to confront anyone or involve anyone else in this process. This is done in privacy and purely for your own release and relief.

Some people try to dismiss the need for this process by saying such things as, “Well, it doesn’t matter now. That was so long ago.” Or maybe, “Things were different back in the old country. None of that makes any difference anymore.”

When dealing with profound harm sustained in the past, we need to be aware of the inconsequential nature of distance and time. In other words, a serious emotional injury sustained long ago and maybe even far away does NOT just wither away into nothingness if you ignore it.

The damage is very real and it has serious ongoing repercussions if it is not squarely faced and dealt with. People fear that acknowledging great harm done will unleash hateful and violent acts. Quite the contrary. It is these “unconscious grudges” that we carry in our hearts that result in cruelty. Often this escapes our conscious awareness.

It is also these unacknowledged wounds, waiting like frightened children at the “Lost and Found” that result in depression.

It takes tremendous psychic energy to keep stuffing those strong, raw emotions down and keep them in check, especially when we’re not even aware of exactly what it is we are hiding from!

I would like to stress once again, suppressed pain and stifled anger will not go away just because you ignore them. They will dissipate only in the face of acknowledgement.

By following the steps outlined above, you will naturally arrive at a place where you are ready to exercise forgiveness. You will have reached a place where you are sick and tired of wasting mental and psychic energy on nursing painful grudges.

You will no longer wish to tolerate any nasty pangs of resentment. It will become unacceptable to send your thoughts into a mental sewer just so that you can keep your offender in his place.

An act of pardon will evolve naturally as we honor our true feelings. This does not mean that we have to go and broadcast what we find to the world. It simply means that we ourselves have to be willing to look at and see the Truth.

As a parting note, let us strive to remember that forgiveness is not a self-righteous act of virtue or altruism. It is not cause for arrogance or fanfare or a holier-than-thou attitude.

The decision to forgive is supremely practical and self-affirming. Self-affirmation is what people need most. And only we can do this for ourselves.

What is this Law of Attraction?

You can check Carl Jung’s classic Memories, Dreams, Reflections for his view, but most contemporary psychologists agree that this magnificent power is transmuted into small things; day-to-day behavior, manners, the choices that we make in the ordinariness of daily human life.

This substance, force, or power is very likely a part, a very small part, of a larger enigma, inscrutable as it ever was.

The psycho-chemical organization of the simplest cell is far beyond our capacity to understand, even at our most advanced scientific labs.

How it is made, where it comes from, I will leave for someone else to answer.

What I know as a belief and from my own experiences is that this power exists and it is within you.

“We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.”

I got this quote from a friend who didn’t know where it comes from either, but I feel that it illustrate so well the point I try to make on Dream Your Life Positively.

Each one of us have a point of view, an easier way to better his life. And it differs from person to person.

If you consider the time it took for this universe to form, this planet to spring up life, and men’s precarious and recent evolution, our life is very short.

My formula is very simple:

Think positively,

Break the rules,

Forgive quickly,

Kiss slowly,

Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably,

And never regret anything that made you smile.

Napoleon Hill said, “a goal is a dream with a deadline.”

Start by training your mind to send out only messages of positive energy.

Do it as you take a shower, go for a walk or go to work, while you take a break or while you’re busy doing a task!

It will strengthen your daily self-improvement and will bring a new joy and sense to your life.

You will see the results immediately afterwards.

Acknowledge them, give yourself a pat in the back; yes, I am good.

Yes, I am successful.

But, be careful of what you think about! for example, have you thoughts ever begun with the following phrases:
I don’t understand…
I don’t want…
I don’t like…
I hate my…
I can’t figure out …
I’m stressed about…
I’m worried that…
I should be able to… but I can’t…

The Law of Attraction brings about what you focus on even if it is not what you want.

Get it?

What you show outwardly is what you are inside.

You want to be happy!

You want to be successful!

You want to be wealthy!

There is nothing religious about it, and no religion that is good for you should tell you that you cannot have it all.

You are stardust.

You are a fragment of God.

You hold the answer, and it has always been with you.

If you understand this principle, you know how to make the law of attraction work to support you rather than to act against you.

Have a wonderful journey

Ton Pascal

“Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wronged, they are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us.” Lewis B. Smedes.

For over 20 years I carried a grudge, an anger closer to hatred of my own mother. I felt totally justified and was utterly convinced I had the right to express openly this anger against what I believed was my mother absence, lack of caring, love or any motherhood feelings toward me since the death of my father. In fact I drew my strength from these things to carry on with my life.

Only a few close friends knew about it and even when I started doing my relaxation studies I never thought this issue had anything to do with my search for mental harmony and the frustration of not being able to reach it completely.

My incessant moving around this planet from a country to another brought me personal and material satisfaction but left me with an empty feeling. Like a potted tree that hasn’t yet found mother earth’s ground in which to thrive.

When I decided to come back to Canada five years ago, little did I know that it would be the beginning of a journey which would take me back in time and reunite me with my mother.

My sister had arranged for us to meet and although I wasn’t too keen to do so I accepted. I was tense, arrogant and disagreeable when we met. As my mother tried to kiss me I pulled back and simply offered my hand for a handshake.

Her first words stayed engraved in my mind and heart for the days to come when she said, “All that I want is to ask if you could forgive me for not being the mother I wish I could have been, my son, I am so sorry…”
We met again a few days later and we talked openly about our pains, hurts, sorrows and expectations. It was the first time I saw my mother as a woman and as a human being; not as before, from a child’s point of view. My father’s untimely passing away at thirty two left a beautiful young widow of twenty six years old with four children, the youngest 25 days old to take care of, a few cattle ranches and a retail business in a male-oriented society. Having only an aging father and a younger sister in Brazil, she was alone and against all odds, she succeeded in raising her family.

Compassion and understanding gave me the strength not only to forgive her, but to forgive myself for the senseless pain I inflicted myself and the guilt it carries with it.

We became very close again, and slowly the whole family seemed to come closer and closer. I soon found out that forgiveness is a positive energy that spreads much quicker than I thought. I have nephews, nieces, cousins that are now a integral positive part of my life. A new route was opening on my path and the writing of Dream Your Life Positively came an year after.

A well documented site on this subject is “A Campaign for Forgiveness Research”* where I found some important examples cited here. Each time we witness an act of forgiveness, we marvel at its power to heal, to break a seemingly unending cycle of pain.

Forgiveness is something virtually all Americans aspire to. A Gallup poll nationwide survey, 94% said it was important to forgive, but it is not something we frequently offer. (In the same survey, only 48% said they usually tried to forgive others.)

Perhaps this is because forgiveness is something we don’t fully understand, or we associate forgiveness with weakness as Friedrich Nietzsche did.

Some view forgiveness as an almost saintly quality that blesses only the very special and most certainly cannot be learned. In fact, the opposite is true, forgiveness is a sign of strength. Research conducted at the University of Wisconsin in 1997 indicates forgiveness can be taught and with positive results.

When I told a friend of mine that if she wanted to find a healthier source of strength after her separation from an abusive husband, she must forgive him before she could find her own way to happiness. “After what I have been through with that bastard? When hell freezes over…” was her answer.

I suggested she try the three affirmations below for a few weeks and see if she still felt the same way.

- I am good, compassionate and I have now the strength to forgive.

- I deserve to be happy and successful.

- I am now ready to receive more love, support and wealth from the vast supply of the universe.

After two weeks of affirmations she told me that the most difficult thing was to think of him and all the bad incidents. The pain, despair and guilt would come back but she now understood that she wanted to be able to forgive and in her prayers she asked God to help her to forgive.

I knew then she had found her path.

According to Professor Douglas Kelley of Arizona State University West, the key to long-term conjugal bliss may be in how well a couple communicates forgiveness.

” Forgiving is not condoning; hurtful actions have consequences. Yet couples who communicate forgiveness may hold the key to stable marriages. What makes some marriages last a lifetime, while others falter and fall apart? These days the notion of equality, an eye for an eye, is prominent,” says Kelley. “That makes forgiveness counter-intuitive - but at the same time a lot of people who don’t call themselves religious or spiritual are forgiving one another. Is it because they sense that they will reap the benefits of forgiving for years to come, or is there some other motive?”

In the end, Kelley hopes that embracing and communicating forgiveness can provide a sense of well-being and stability for couples living in an increasingly stressed society.

Forgiving doesn’t change what has past, neither does it justify or makes it all right. It allows you to focus on your life from a pain free emotional state. The past no longer makes you cringe, cry or swear. Forgiveness simply helps you to let go of that negative baggage and makes a place for all the positive things you wish to have.

I know a lot of people who after a lover’s break up or a friend’s betrayal have vowed “I will never let anyone hurt me like that again.” It is quite justifiable, this is your survival instinct, a protective shield taking over, but be careful that this shield will also prevent you from connecting with new people and eventually making new friends.

This is a negative living, and most people are not even aware of it. Forgiveness is letting go of that negative emotional baggage and starting on a new path stronger than before.

It is very difficult, I know, to accept the fact that someone you loved and trusted, who have betrayed and stabbed you in the back, deserves your forgiveness.

When I lost a best friend of 25 years to what I thought was petty gossip, I was devastated and questioned the sincerity of her friendship all these years.

After forgiving her I can now look back and laugh at the good moments we had together. Sincerity is no longer a question, my love for her is the same, but I no longer need to see, speak or interact with her. Our roads just took different directions, that’s all.

Make an assessment of the people in your life, and the ones who are gone. What are your feelings about them? Is there someone you feel “I dislike (or hate) that SOB” either for personal reasons or because of malicious gossips? Or is there someone you distanced from and in your book is unforgivable?

You are carrying a heavy negative emotional baggage. Get rid of it AS SOON AS POSSIBLE if you want the good energy of a positive living to reach you.

An important, well documented and proven factor is that your anger, hurt and pain not only will affect the way you communicate with others, but eventually will exclude you from social contact. Your self worth is constantly being questioned and if you don’t take action it will eventually breakdown.

“Forgiveness allows one to overcome a situation that would otherwise be a major source of stress, both mentally and neurobiological. Forgiveness is thought to dramatically change the individual’s biological homeostatic equilibrium. He will assess the neurobiological response associated with forgiveness and unforgiving-ness.” Study of the Brain Functional Correlates of Forgiveness in Humans -Pietro Pietrini, M.D., Ph.D., Pisa – Italy.

Forgiveness benefits both, but you the most, because you left the negative baggage behind. You are now ready to receive the positive force, energy, love, wealth and success the universe have in store for you.
The other person doesn’t even needs to know, it is irrelevant. Neither do you have to bring that person into your life or closer circle any more. What matters is your thoughts and therefore your actions. If it is clean, clear and positive, so will your life, your friends and your future be.

“Forgiveness is both a decision and a real change in emotional experience. That change in emotion is related to better mental and physical health.”

Everett L. Worthington, Jr., Ph.D. Executive Director, A Campaign For Forgiveness Research.
From a decade-old grudge against the third-grade bully to deep-seated rage against a cheating spouse, millions of Americans harbor long-term grievances. Dr. Carl Thoresen, a professor at Stanford University, and his colleague, Dr. Fred Luskin, are exploring whether the unresolved anger that blights many people’s lives can be alleviated with the help of an age-old concept: forgiveness. Together, the pair launched a comprehensive research project: The Stanford Forgiveness Study. Thoresen and Luskin hope the impact of their work will be preventative as well as therapeutic.

“It’s our hope that family and school violence, including shootings, road rage, gang violence and workplace conflict will be diminished - if not avoided - if more people understand the role that forgiveness can play in interpersonal relations,” says Thoresen, “It takes courage and commitment to act in a more forgiving fashion. It’s not at all a sign of weakness but a mark of strength.”

Dr. Carl Thoresen is a professor of Education, Psychology and Psychiatry at Stanford University. Dr. Fred Luskin is a research associate at the Stanford Center for Research in Disease Prevention.

Have a great journey
Ton Pascal

Teaches you how to forgive, step by step. Forgiveness allows you to upgrade how you feel about your past, and get on happily with your life.

The past cannot be undone. What you change is how you feel about it.

Make The Change Happen

How are you going to do it, my friend? You’re all done feeling wretched all the time, you know forgive does not mean forget, you are soooo ready, but you need a plan. Read on, my friend, and find out how to get the benefits of forgiveness for yourself. Right now.

Guilt and Hatred Are Killers

Ask any doctor. Stress is a killer. This is because your body and mind are a continuum. In other words, although they are not entirely the same, a great overlap exists that unites them. Relieve your mental stress and your body will be happier too. Nothing relieves mental stress like forgiveness. Guilt and hatred resolve nothing; they just sustain the negativity that continues to obstruct you from your goals. Forgiveness, on the other hand, undoes the stickiness that binds you to an unhappy past.

Does It Work?

Absolutely - for you. Since the forgiveness experience will happen only for you, only you will receive its benefits. Your forgiveness may not influence a change in the behavior of others one bit. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. Forgiveness is about generating your own healing. You are the only player in your life over whom you have all the power. It’s time to exercise your personal power, your right to choose to feel better about who you are, your right to process your past and move on with your life.

It’s a Private Thing

Since forgiving is all about you getting your own heart clear, it’s best done in the privacy of your own mind. Afterwards you’ll have the choice of telling others, if you like, but initially the process works best in solitude. Tell no one, just do the work. And watch how easy it is to feel better all day every day. Contrast this to the fact that all the pity parties in the world with your friends and relatives never made you feel better one bit. Those tactics don’t work because they don’t process emotions, they merely create a feedback loop that deepens the groove of the pain. Since you know that what you used to do didn’t work, it’s time to do what does.

Forgive in Steps

Like a pyramid, forgiveness may seem overwhelming at first, but it’s easily accomplished step by step. So begin by recognizing that there are three sections:

.forgiveness of others
.self-forgiveness
.receiving forgiveness from others

And these can be further broken down into nicely manageable chunks.

Forgiveness of Others

When you forgive others in categories, it proceeds more easily. For example, you could choose to use the categories of Strangers, Friends, Family, The People who Hurt You The Most, and Anybody Else. You may include additional categories like Exlovers, Neighbors, Coworkers, Employees, etc., and some forgivers need to add the category of Humanity Itself. And you can start with the categories you find easiest. Once you notice how good it feels to forgive, this will inspire you to forgive everyone as much as possible, as fully as you can.

Self Forgiveness

In this step, start with your earliest years and ascend: Newborn, three year old, five year old, ten year old, teenager, 20s, etc., and on up to your current age, forgiving yourself thoroughly for absolutely everything as you go. Once you get to your current age, forgive yourself for your whole life. Remember, all humans are flawed. No one is a perfect son or daughter, man or woman, husband or wife, student or teacher, worker or boss. You are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. Forgiveness is an optimal method to process your learnings.

Receiving Forgiveness from Others

In the privacy of your own mind, visualize then apologize to folks you’ve wronged, and let them accept your apology. It may surprise you to learn that others really want to forgive you. They do. So let them forgive you and receive the cleansing of that forgiveness. Afterwards, with some people, you may elect to actually apologize to them in person, but proceed carefully. There are a few folks in the world who can not accept apologies in real life, and this is why you process all of your apologies in your mind’s eye thoroughly first, so that you get the emotional benefit of having apologized whether those apologies get accepted in real life or not.

Forgive by Percentages in Repeated Attempts

Can you forgive the people who hurt you the most 10%? 20%? 80%? 99.9%? It’s not all or nothing. Ease on up to higher and higher percentages, always aiming for 100% forgiveness, but being real with yourself. If the people who hurt you the most are not 100% forgiveable on your first attempt, continue forgiving them bit by bit till you get as close to full forgiveness as possible. Start with a realistic percentage, then increase your forgiveness on subsequent attempts, always aiming for 100%. Just do your best.

Forgiving People Versus Events

It can be one thing to forgive individual people, and can yet be quite another thing to forgive the things those people did. What to do? Forgive the events and actions as they come to mind. As you think of instance after instance, forgive everyone involved as best you can for everything that happened.

Is There An Easier Way?

Yes, there is an easier way. “The Forgiveness Pyramid” CD takes you through all the steps in under an hour. Using emotive visualization, you’ll be able to have the full forgiveness experience privately, in your own time, in your own home. You are unique, and may find that some steps in the “Forgiveness Pyramid” require repeated listening for full relief. And full relief is what you want.

Are you bombarded with negative thoughts, feelings of inadequacy, and maybe even shame about the past? How do you feel?

Stop! Just for a moment stop and catch yourself thinking. Yes, catch your thoughts, as it were. Do you hear negative chatter about what you perceive others are thinking about you? Is it a one-way conversation, or are you in agreement? Are the not-so-good perceptions interspersed with feel-good kind of thoughts about yourself?

It’s good and very therapeutic to take yourself to task like this every once in a while. How your own thoughts influence you has an awful lot to do with your physical, emotional and even spiritual well-being!

Maybe you’re the tragic victim of a troubled childhood, constantly or often rehearsing all the hurt you went through. The constant replay in your mind may have led you to believe that bad things happened because you must have been bad as a child. Consequently, having heard those messages over and over again, by now you may be convinced that you do not deserve happiness.

But, God does not see you as you may perceive others are seeing you and how you see yourself! As the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your hurt from you. Like a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear [show reverential awe towards]Him! In fact, He will even extend His righteousness unto your children’s children! (Psalm 103: 11-13; 17)

So you’re asking, what does all this have to do with health and nutrition? So much more than you may think! Your total well-being and physical health are all bound up together: mind, spirit and body.

You may be doing all the fitness exercises and taking all the vitamins in the world. However, if you allow past hurts, unforgiveness and offenses to control your life, you will continue to be bent over with the emotional baggage. Even though you may be smiling and gorgeous on the outside, the emotional strain will eventually take a toll on your physical health!

Take courage, my friend! All is not lost; there is hope! Negative thoughts will try to enforce a negative opinion of yourself and/or giving you perceived ‘permission’ to be negative and downhearted. However, those thoughts, or negative attitudes, can be broken! Once you recognize the kind of internal conversation you are regularly having with yourself, you can tell that ‘accuser’ to lay off! You now have uncovered the culprit and can make a decision not to associate with it any longer.

Choose to hang out with positive people and learn to find the good in both yourself and others. It may take a bit of practice and getting used to, especially if you’ve been in a rut for a long time.

God is not wrong when He says He loves you unconditionally! Allow Him to tell you how well you are loved. His Love will flow through you to others, and you will start feeling good all over.

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Ann Stewart, author, inspirational writer and wellness coach, shares tips on how to fight off disease and feel your best in her weekly newsletter, Youth Makeover: youthmakeover.com